PHOTO: Photo courtesy of Flickr.com/Kristen
Congratulations — you made it through the summer. We know it’s not always easy to have the kids around all the time. And what a gratifying feeling it can be to have gotten all your uniforms purchased, dance classes registered for, all the supplies stocked. Starting the new school year isn’t just a jolt for the kids – it’s a hard transition for parents, too. You have your own jobs and lives to consider, and there are appointments to schedule and soccer practices and PTA meetings to think about. But don’t let distractions cause you to miss shifts in your child’s behavior that may be out of the realm of “normal” growing/going back to school pains. If little problems go untended, they could lead to bigger social and/or academic issues later on. So, with little kids of our own in our lives, we at the Forum are asking you to be vigilant.
During the summer time, children get to work out their aggressions by jumping around, running, or in some rare cases, trying to ride the family pet. With fall comes a certain rigidity – the return to school, particular clothes one must wear to stay warm, a requirement to be more team-oriented, less independent. The transition to this calmer, more disciplined daily life can be difficult for kids, and they may act out – either with aggressive, attention-seeking in-class behaviors, or by ostracizing themselves at recess or not participating in class discussions. You don’t want a wall flower any more than you do a bully – and though children are beautiful in all their manifestations, ignoring social hiccups now could make for ugly situations as the child matures.
Kids are wired to be social at a very early age, and pre-verbally, they look at their parents to guide them on body language. But starting the year usually means adjustments will have to be made, at least initially, in a child’s innate social wirings. Maybe she’s new at the school – or new to school at all – or perhaps her best friend’s got a different teacher. Inevitably, something will be different, and your child will be adjusting to that change in both obvious and subtle ways. So don’t let her get away with not talking about how her school day went. And if for some reason you are unable to extract any morsel of conversation from your little one, make a point of locking eyes with the teacher, at least for a few minutes, and asking for real answers every single day. Even if the teacher isn’t particularly verbal himself (and believe us, in some cases they are not), get a moment or two to read him for any signs that your child isn’t doing well on any level. This week was the first week of school for most NYC kids, and Wednesday, for most, was the first day. Even on the busiest, hottest days, when you just want to pick up your child and get out of the loading zone you’re parked in, take two extra minutes and ask if anything is up. If the teacher is busy, ask for another time that might work better or send him a note. As you’re waiting to sign your kids out, check out how they’re interacting with the other children.
If problems do come up, experts seem to agree that it’s important, above all, to acknowledge and respect your child’s feelings. Even five-year-olds have a valid point of view – and we already know what infinite wisdom they have about the world and all that they can teach us about how to treat each other.
