It’s a terrible, almost unspeakable tragedy when a child dies. Parents who suffer this tragedy deserve the light of a thousand heavens to shine upon them, so that they might never know any other sadness. We – those of us who haven’t lost children – can’t comprehend how it is possible to endure that incredible devastation, pick up, and move on. Not to mention find any sort of happiness or success ever again.
And then there are those parents who experience this unimaginable loss and yet miraculously find the will to get up in the mornings thereafter, who put their emotions aside not just to survive but to do good every single day, for hundreds if not thousands of others.
We said goodbye again this week to brave little Valentina Allen, who left us last year and who would have been three on Feb. 15. The gala in her honor that night was held at Russo’s On the Bay and raised approximately $25,000, with an additional $10,000 in separate donations, all going to benefit CHOP, the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, where Valentina’s surgeries were performed and where she eventually succumbed to her lifelong illness.
But it wasn’t only Valentina in this story whose courage inspires and who fought every day of her young life. Danielle and Ryan Allen are the young parent heroes whom she left behind. If it’s not obvious why the Allens are heroic to us, a few facts to consider: throughout Valentina’s illness and hence, the duration of her life, they raised money for CHOP and individual families, like theirs, who’d had to set up camp in Philly to be with their own sick children. They did so cheerfully, never letting Valentina’s setbacks impede their efforts on behalf of others less in a place, financially, to pay for surgeries and hospitalization. Ryan and Danielle remained strong for Valentina but also for their eldest daughter Victoria, now 4, who, like any big sister of a sick child, must have had and must still have her own challenges to face. And who, through it all, would need all the love and support the Allens had to give.
Everyone at The Forum has had a chance to meet Danielle and Ryan at some point along this journey, and whether in a private or more public setting, they are always the epitome of grace and warmth. We marvel at the miracle of their kept-up appearance as a couple – along with all the other marvel-worthy things – since we’re not sure if we could make it to the shower if we experienced what they have, let alone look like they just stepped from the pages of Attractive Couples magazine.
Another note: as we’ve already said, the Allens put others before themselves. At times the degree to which they’ve done so has almost been comical: Ryan actually apologized because he wasn’t able to spend more time with us at the Heart to Heart fundraising gala on Monday night. This would have been unnecessary if he were merely the event host. But he is also the father of a little girl who died, a girl who would have turned three years old that very day.
February happens to be American Heart Month. Whether you were fortunate enough to know Valentina or not, you or a loved one has probably been affected at some point by heart disease in its myriad forms. We hope that like us you will be inspired – to remain strong throughout adversity and perhaps to give – by the heartwarming, heart wrenching, and heart-of-gold example embodied by Danielle and Ryan Allen.
